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Snakes in Movies
 
The Sword and the Sorcerer (1982)
 
Spoiler Alert !

Some of these pictures and descriptions may give away plot details that you might not want to know before watching the film.
 
This is a sword and sorcery and snake movie. In the background of the climactic fight scene a large constrictor tries to put the squeeze on a princess. I can't really discuss the scene without spoiling the end, but there shouldn't be any surprises if you've ever watched a movie before. Do the bad guys ever win and get the girl?

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The snake scene comes near the end after most of the movie has already taken place. An evil king named Cromwell has forced a beautiful princess named Alana to marry him. We got to watch some guys massage her naked body with oil, so we understand why he's so obsessed with her. But before she says "I do," a giant fight breaks out in the castle, so technically she's still single. An even more evil sorcerer named Xusia must have watched the naked oil massage scene over and over too, so now he wants the girl. Disguised as a guy named Machelli, Xusia convinces the princess to follow him down to the castle's catacombs where ground fog covers the floor as if they're in some cheezy low-budget movie. Hissing giant green iguanas roam around in the dark basement along with a huge snake that startles the princess. Machelli tells her he's going to take power from Cromwell and rule the world and all that evil villain stuff. She pretends to support him then kicks him in the balls, which he doesn't appreciate. He rips Machelli's flesh away from his hideous face so she can see who she's really dealing with - a growling slimy monster with glowing red fingers that he uses to hypnotize Alana. But suddenly King Cromwell shows up and tries to fight Xusia to get his girl back. When Xusia uses his magic on Cromwell, Alana runs away. She wants no part of either of those a-holes. But before she can get anywhere Xusia uses his magic again to stop her. She falls onto the floor, unable to get up.

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Then we see a large snake emerge from the fog. Probably the one we saw earlier. It slowly crawls on the floor towards Alana. Who knows why. Maybe Xusia used magic to send it to kill her. Maybe the snake is just hungry. Xusia starts to finish off Cromwell as the snake crawls closer to the princess. But before Xusia can kill Cromwell the hero Talon shows up with his crazy three-bladed sword that can shoot the blades like a ... sword gun? He and Xusia argue over who gets to kill Cromwell so Xusia uses his glowing fingers to immobilize Talon. As they struggle we see the snake slowly get closer to the princess. It crawls between her legs and wraps itself around her body. Snakes have all the luck. Xusia falls and it looks like the fighting is over. The snake starts to wrap around Alana's neck and face. Then suddenly Cromwell gets up again and starts fighting Talon. The snake keeps moving. Slowly. This has to be the slowest snake attack ever seen on film. Just when it looks like the snake is going to finally squeeze Alana to death, Talon defeats Cromwell then runs over to her. He grabs the snake's neck before it can do whatever it was going to do to the princess (eat her? give her another naked oil massage?) and he chops the snake's head off. Then he takes the princess outside to his pals who have defeated the palace soldiers, she tells him they have some business to attend to, and he gladly throws her over his shoulder and they both swing away on a flag banner. Some guy on a horse says "We've a battle in the offing, kingdoms to save, and women to love!" and everybody rides off into the sunset. That's right, the sunset. And they all live happinly ever after, I guess. Except for a few hundred corpses. And the snake.

I'm pretty sure the snake is a python, not a Boa Constrictor, as someone calls it on IMDB, but it's hard to see in that dark dungeon.

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