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Snakes in Movies   Snake Hotel (2023)   Spoiler Alert ! Some of these pictures and descriptions may give away plot details that you might not want to know before watching the film.   This was made in the UK, proving that the land that gave us Shakespeare, the Beatles, and Stephen Hawking, makes giant monster snake movies that are just as terrible as those made in the rest of the world. But you don't watch a creature feature like this expecting art. You watch them for the gore and chaos, which this one delivers, and you hope it will be so bad it's good, but the snakes here are laughable, not terrifying. There is some action involving men with guns, and a creepy evil robot, and the actors do a decent job looking up and making their "Oh s**t it's a giant snake!" faces, but the main problem is the terrible laughable CGI rendered snakes. They're the same giant ugly turds we've seen on screens for decades. I can't understand why they still can't make a CGI snake that looks halfway real. Maybe it's a matter of the budget, but even the CGI in hundred million dollar superhero movies often sucks. I thought I was going to see a movie that looks like the poster - with gigantic snakes strangling a skyscraper and strafed by jets and helicopters like King Kong, but they must have spent all of their art budget on the poster because absolutely none of that is in the movie. It starts out in a women's prison where a woman named Miss Fang (Chrissie Wunna) who has a very cool silver snake handle on her cane, convinces the warden to sell her six prisoners. When the orange-suited women get to the mansion, they are told that they will be eaten by her gigantic mutant snakes unless they can survive from midnight to sunrise. Miss Fang is a mad scientist who is supported by government grants because she is developing the giant snakes to be used as super soldiers by the military. Her father invented a serum to re-grow human limbs that she uses on snakes to make them faster, stronger, and smarter. The snakes need live food, and they prefer to eat female humans, but for some insane reason Fang likes to make a game out of feeding people to the snakes. She has a creepy robot named Clifford who does a lot of her dirty work. She controls the snake with a remote that is attached to devices implanted in the snakes' brains. She says you can cut them in two and they'll become two snakes. Fang puts collars on the women that will choke them to death if they try to escape, and one by one the snakes get them. One woman gets swallowed but cuts herself out of the snake, which we don't even get to see, only to get swallowed later. Nothing unusual or unexpected happens, so I'm not even going to bother describing the plot any more. As usually happens, in the end Fang is killed by her own snakes, a final girl gets away, and they tease a sequel.