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Boas, Pythons,
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Snakes in Movies
 
Python 2 (2002)
 
Spoiler Alert !

Some of these pictures and descriptions may give away plot details that you might not want to know before watching the film.
 
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"The Beast is Back"


This is the third movie in the Python franchise which so far consists of Python (2000) New Alcatraz or Boa (2001) Python 2 (2002), and Boa vs. Python (2004). None of these are great monster movies, but for me this is the second weakest in the franchise, after New Alcatraz, which was even grimmer than this one. Neither of them have much to look at and no humor, which was what made Python fun, but at least Python 2 has a beautiful red-haired Russian woman to insert some badly needed eye candy between the screaming mercenaries and badly-rendered snake monsters. I feel bad for the actors in this mess. They did a good job, but the snake effects are so bad they look ridiculous pretending to be terrified of sloppy, unfinished computer-generated monster snakes. Snakes which are typically shown in the dark so we can't see how bad they look. (I have brightened them up quite a bit here so we can see them.)

This is a very loose sequel to New Alcatraz (Boa) (2001) and it also has a connection to Python (2000). The giant python we saw falling from an airplane at the end of New Alcatraz, ended up in a huge cave in Russia. (The snake is described as an 85 foot 12 ton python that was a genetic freak created in a military experiment. It can spit acid, it's very intelligent, and it's nearly bullet-proof. It's the perfect weapon.)

The American military wants their perfect weapon back, so they offer the Russians 50 million dollars to help them zap it with giant stun guns, shove it into a metal container that looks way too small to hold an 85 foot 12 ton snake, and put the container on an airplane. Unfortunately, some Chechen rebels think the plane is Russian so they shoot it down and kill everybody on it. Miraculously, the python container survives the crash, the Russians find it, then haul it off to a lab at a military base. When the lab scientists open the box, the snake pops out, spits acid in their faces, and escapes.

Then the C.I.A. gets involved, sending agent Greg Larsen (who was a small town police officer in the first Python movie who was put in the C.I.A. because of his experience with the snake) and a crew of heavily armed mercenaries. Larson hires a shipping company run by an American ex-baseball pitcher and his Russian wife to drive to the base and pick up the snake-in-a-box along with the mercenaries. But when they get to the base, they discover that the snake has escaped, that there is more than one snake, (why, is never explained), and that everybody on the base has been killed except for the base commander.

There's a running theme about the baseball pitcher Stoddard, who quit the majors after hitting a batter with a 100 mile per hour fastball. Stoddard left the game and the country, thinking the batter was dead. But he survived. Everybody keeps asking him if he tried to kill the batter intentionally. Finally he gets to redeem himself by using his pitching skills to pitch a round piece of plastic explosive like a baseball into the mouth of one of the giant snakes. His throw is perfect and the snake is blown back to the stone age. I don't need to bother to explain the rest. It follows the formula. Everybody dies except for the good people you knew weren't going to die, and the snakes are all destroyed. Or are they? Of course not. There is another sequel, Boa vs. Python, which fortunately brings back some of the more outlandish aspects of the first Python, which make it much more fun to watch than this one.