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Snakes in Movies
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All Movie Snakes
Must Die!
All Movie Snakes
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Snakes in Movies
 
Buried (2010)
 
Spoiler Alert !

Some of these pictures and descriptions may give away plot details that you might not want to know before watching the film.
 
Buried Buried Buried
Buried Buried Buried
This is a good, suspenseful, claustrophobic movie in which Ryan Reynolds plays a civilian American truck driver working in Iraq in 2006 who wakes up tied and gagged and buried alive in a coffin.

The kidnappers demand a ransom, then leave him in the coffin with a flask of booze, a glowing light stick thing, a cigarette lighter, and a cell phone so he can make lots of calls. (I want the name of the carrier that gives him service underground and lets him talk to surly 911 operators half way around the world!)

He's suffering from a lack of air, covered with dirt and sweat, trapped in a tight dark space, panicking from anxiety, screwed over by the corporate pigs he works so they can avoid paying his insurance if he dies. He's continually threatened with cell phone demands by his captors, he fights with his angry sister in law, and worst of all, he is forced to wait on hold with his company's HR department.

But apparently NONE of that was scary enough for the movie. So some hack at the writer's table convinced everybody to add a snake:

"I've got it! Watching a man buried alive won't scare all of the audience, but everybody is afraid of snakes! We'll have the guy wake up to find a snake crawling under his pants, through his crotch, and down and out one of his pant legs. Then he'll toss alcohol on the snake and try to set it on fire with his lighter until he nearly burns himself to death while the snake hisses and strikes at him then crawls untouched out of a huge crack in the coffin! Don't worry, everyone will believe it because everyone knows that snakes just swim around underground through sand without needing air to breathe, looking for coffins to squeeze into."

Everybody cheers, the producers greenlight his pitch, and we end up suffering through yet another unnecessary scene with the embodiment of all of the evil and terror in the world - a snake. Why didn't they just make a 90 minute movie of a guy trapped in a coffin with a snake? (I'd watch that.)

You can watch the snake scene on YouTube.